Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Is She A Good Baby?

That’s the question I was asked this weekend by a friend of a friend. 
It’s not the first time it’s been asked of me either.  I have been asked this question since Adalyn was only a couple weeks old.  The first time I was asked I immediately respond with yes she’s a good baby, if we can just get her to sleep we’ll be awesome.  After that conversation I thought to myself, what does that mean?  I mean she’s 3 weeks old, what could she possibly be doing that’s causing her to be a bad baby?
It’s a question I’m thoroughly stumped by and can’t quite figure that out.  I mean is there a baby out there who is considered bad?  What considers a baby to be a bad baby?  Is she bad if she spits up after every feeding?  Is it when she cries when she’s not swaddled tight enough?  Seriously, what constitutes a bad baby? 
Personally, there is no such thing as a bad baby.  There is always a reason behind a babies cry.  Even if it’s just to be cuddled close to his or her mother, there is a reason.  They are all innocent and faultless gifts from God.  So, I ask of my readers, please don’t ever ask someone if their baby is a good baby. 
I leave you with a question:  At what age does one become a bad child?  J


  1. i HATE that question--i've started to respond with asking what it would take for E to be a bad baby. i completely agree with you!

  2. I completely agree as well. I don't get asked it often, maybe 2 times since my son was born. I usually tell people he's the best baby, but I don't use sleeping or eating or crying to justify it. Regardless of what he's doing he's the best baby, because he's my baby!

    I work in residential care for kids in the foster care system, so the good kid/bad kid thought pops up a lot. I try to explain it to family who don't understand what I do, that all kids are good kids. They are a function of their biology and environments, and when they reach the early teen years I try to help them realize that while they have all come from challenging backgrounds and there are reasons for their behavior, they need to start to take responsibility for themselves and the kind of person they want to be. Good or bad behavior is usually learned or a result of coping with challenges/trauma in whatever way the child can. It is very rare that I encounter a child with no remorse or empathy, markers of anti-social personality disorder (sociopath). It's more likely that I get kids who's behaviors are so engrained into their personalities that there is little I can do to help them, especially the older teens who have no motivation to change their behaviors or path in life.

  3. Amen! I always thought that was a weird question. I think around the toddler age of after a year "bad" traits can appear, but are just usually testing the parents boundaries. I agree with the other comment that it is a mixture of nature and nurture that forms a child and can influence their good and bad tendencies.



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